LIME » Tech

Steve Jobs Requests Raise

Rainer — Wed, 07 Apr 2010 23:56:36 +0000

(CUPERTINO) After successful product launch of the iPad on last Saturday when 300 000 were devices sold on the first day, the CEO of Apple (AAPL), Steve Jobs, approached the board of directors today before the iPhone OS 4.0 special media event, requesting a raise of two times of the adjusted to the average inflation since his return to Apple.
If approved it would mean a 5.64% raise to his annual salary of $1 bringing it up to 1,06 USD per annum.
Jobs is backing up his request with his track record of successful product launches starting on 1998 withe the introduction of original iMac. Other successful product launches include the iPod and the iPhone.
The Board of Directors has called in an emergency meeting to process this request. If taking place the increased salary would be subtracted from the dividend of Apple shares and the hit would be spread between the owners. Though the request was presented during time of tough global economic turmoil and not during timed for end of Apple’s fiscal year the board is expected to approve this decision.

LIME follows the development of the situation and will continue to communicate the events to it’s readers.

More accurate news from the NY Times or the MacWorld.

Disclaimer: The author holds insignificant amount of Apple shares

Another money withdrawal from Sampo bank on the same week

Rainer — Fri, 15 Aug 2008 11:02:33 +0000

(TÖÖLÖ) The temporary IT and security issues with Sampo Bank (OMX: Danske) relieved for the second time this week when four were able to withdraw money from the bank. This was noticed by a local man who alerted the police. Usage of firearms is currently not suspected, though they were used in assistance with the first incidence.

The first occurrence happened on Monday this week when two men were able to withdraw small amount of money from different accounts using the same office as was used today. The bank and police are investigating connection between the incidences.

More accurate news from YLE

Fox brings out stupidity and populism to a new level

Rainer — Mon, 19 Feb 2007 15:43:52 +0000

The Fox News Milwaukee has made a new benchmark for stupidity and populism their article of the threats of Nintendo DS/DS Lite has reached a level no one thought would be possible to reach. “Yes, a wireless signal when connected tries to maintain the connection, depending on the `wireless noise´ level. Specially with 802.11b (which the DS is using) that can travel further than 802.11g” when equipped in a large hall where there is no blocking objects, I.E.E.E. Draft explained. “It tries to keep the connection `alive´, normal behaviour for p2p-devices such as Nintendo DS. I’m sure Nintendo has explained this in a manual. I would be interested though how they managed to get the DS clients transmit over 100 meters as it’s practically impossible by the 802.11a/b/g/n standards. We would actually have a job opening for these guys.”.
“We have tried to explain the ”threats” of wireless communication. We warn about it in the manual. And when you launch the application. And if you buy any Nintendo wireless products. We’re just desperate for new ways of informing the parents and users but we don’t want to create a new ”clippy”. We’re now investigating if we could rent the moon and engrave the warning on it” Nintendo representative Mario “Super-Mario” Mario explained. “We don’t actually see this as a ”problem” as one could come up to a same conclusion from a common telephone which actually works from even longer distances than our DS” Mario mentions before jumping on a turtle, kicking it away and disappearing in a green pipe.

Both The Sun and Inquirer have announced that they are now researching the threats of transparent window glass though they are now intrigued by the threat of a common telephone suggested by Super-Mario.“People don’t actually realise that a pervert or molester might just walk up to a window and expose himself”, both announce along the Fox News Milwaukee “And have people actually realised that a blocked called ID hides the is transparent in both ways? Not just from in to out.”

More not even so accurate news from the Milwaukee Fox News

US answer to global warming: smoke and giant space mirrors

Rainer — Wed, 14 Feb 2007 23:16:06 +0000

Global warming has been cancelled – again. The Bush administration has announced the plan [link to actual Bush Administration plan] to solve global warming for good. The plan was actually innovated after watching a popular TV-series, Futurama, and consists of sending a giant space mirror to the atmosphere to reflect the sunlight.
The Bush administration has learned their lesson based on what happened in Futurama. For those who have forgotten or haven’t seen the episode “Grimes of the Hot” (S4 E8), the mirror was hit by a small meteor causing the mirror to tilt and form a scorching ray of light. The Bush Administration on the other hand has researched “a giant reflecting cloud of dust” which will solve the problem with debris “as it actually is debris“, Bush Administrator representative Doctor Dolittle explained. “This of course allows us to reduce the emissions set by the Kyoto Protocol allowing us to produce even more dust and smoke for the atmosphere“, Dr. Dolittle continued.
“Modifying solar radiance may be an important strategy if mitigation of emissions fails. Doing the R&D to estimate the consequences of applying such a strategy is important insurance that should be taken out. This is a very important possibility that should be considered.”
The Bush Administration has announced that they will start the program in schedule with the space emigration of the Swedes which was announced few months back. “Although our plan is still speculative, uncosted and with potential unknown side-effects, we stand behind it all the way. It’s just like imitating a giant volcano eruption“, Dr. Dolittle continues as he’s being clad back into straight jacket and hauled back to P.R.I.C.K.S, Pentagon’s Research Institution for Crazy, Kafkaesque Scientists.

More accurate news from The Guardian

Finnish surveilance goes hi-tech

Rainer — Thu, 18 May 2006 14:06:24 +0000

The airport of Helsinki has equipped an automated Hi-Tech CCTV which can recognize “suspicious behaviour”, luggages left alone, excessive queues, etc.

“The system can alert staff to events which may need further investigation without the need for every camera to be observed by staff. For example, suspect packages or vehicles left unattended will be flagged up and staff alerted. Similarly if the system detects queues growing beyond a pre-defined length in the security zone staff will be alerted of the need to open another lane”

This is of course nice way of saving money and will be more vigilant than a human monitoring 500 different cameras, but how does it actyally recognize suspicious behaviour or long term parked parked cars vs. abanded ones. Does the system read the licence plate and then run it against passenger lists or what? How does it recognize and abandoned suitcase? And how do they differ for example from a sleeping person or the “buggy” of janitor?
The system raises many safety and privacy issues but luckily the people responding to the flagged threats are still human and luckily the Helsinki-Vantaa airport actually hires security staff with higher intelligence and better manners than an average GI-Joe SecurityGuard posesses.
Also this raises a question of what will happen in a case of computer down time?-which eventually will happen- Will the monitoring system work at all or do they have to send patrols with “live eyes”? Will the monitoring system cause false searches for people with the “suspicious behaviour” like has happenend in London. The success persent of the system isn’t mentioned anywhere. Thread in /. raises few good questions as well.
Getting rod of the feckers who wants to blow themselfs and other people for any higher cause is always good but how much can we automate in their detection without causing trouble for normal travelers, be it in airport, bus/metro/trainstation or in an shopping mall? Do we really trust or want to trust on decisions made by a computer based on pre-programmed clauses?