LIME » Sweden

Space extraction of Swedes got green light

Rainer — Sun, 10 Dec 2006 17:03:35 +0000

The extraction of swedes finally started last night. Shuttle launched at 1:47 Greenwich Men Time took swedish physicist Christer Fuglesang away from Earth to the orbit.

According to NASA’s representative, Edwin “Buzz” Aldrin, this was a test flight in order to monitor how much the swedes actually resist space launches. As the extraction went better than anticipated, the program’s timeline will be accelerated and mass swede extractions will start “fairly soon” Adlrin added while browsing IKEA catalogue.

More accurate news from The Local

Sweden expects heavy casualties on the forecoming civil war

Rainer — Mon, 18 Sep 2006 19:52:39 +0000

The Swedish general election passed without any major conflicts between the left-wing Social Democrats and center-right coalition although our sources expected such to happen. As no UN observers have been placed to the Nordic capital many fear that the socialdemocrats will start a terror campaign.

Never the less, many Swedes have dared to go shopping and try to get back to their regular lives, although a regime change is always dreaded in Sweden.

“Vad? Vad i helvete säger du?” Gurtrud Tennhjelm, a single parent from the notorious suburb of Södermalm, explains worriedly to our brave reporter. “Sluta följ efter mig” she explains her forecast for the following weeks.

The chairman of the Parliament, Björn von Sydow, pleaded both the bourgeois coalition and the left-wing voters so they would peacefully accept the legitimacy of the vote and would let the democracy to evolve in Sweden, country located in the eastern coast of Scandinavian peninsula in the Northern-Europe. The ousted prime-minister Persson promised to stand down peacefully, but couldn’t promise on behalf of his supporters – the social-democrat fanatics.

“Vilka fanatiker? Vad talar du om? Pappa hjälp oss.” 13-year old Lina and 14-year old Palle pondered on the dusky streets of Stockholm, the multimillion populated capital. Just before our courageous reporter was attacked by raging local fanatic in the murky “Slussen”. We didn’t manage to ask the attacker’s political side.

The UN hasn’t so far formed an unified opinion if they should send peace keeping force to Sweden to keep up the safety of the public. The UN secretary Kofi Annan withstands of commenting the situation or the possible actions UN will take regarding the extremely flammable situation in Sweden, but he mentioned in his short statement that “You should leave the building. I have already alerted the security”.

More accurate news from the Reuters

Ericsson want’s to lay off all over 35

Rainer — Wed, 28 Jun 2006 12:26:42 +0000

Swedish tele giant Ericsson takes it’s slogan “taking you forward” to new meaning as it starts to “forward” it’s elderly employees. Ericsson announced in April that it has decided to forward it’s “old school” workers to “anyone else“. Ericsson’s CEO Carl-Henrik Svanberg (44-yrs, taurus) announced that they want these “old, worn out, workers with slightest hint of real-life know how, to step down and make room for the just graduated workers“.
Just few years before Ericsson had resigned most of the workers under 35. “Yes, I have to admit that was a mistake, but we are persistent in our trial-and-error-method“, wrinkly and already graying Svanberg admitted “but this is only the first step of our new Plan™. We are striving to make our image younger and what would be a better method than laying off all the old and hiring new young, urban, professionals? Soon after we have replaced the fir… forwarded employees, we will start the second phase and layoff all the workers over 28” announced Svanberg from a surgeons table.

Ericsson’s earnings before taxes on the first quarter was only 720 million euros

More accurate news from The Local

DRM vs. Consumers in Nordic countries

Rainer — Sat, 10 Jun 2006 01:32:08 +0000

The Norwegian Consumer Ombudsman has decided that the terms and conditions of iTMS are “questionable” and should be changed. The Consumer Council filed it’s complaint to the Consumer Ombudsman on the 25th of January which the Consumer Ombudsman is now supporting.

Among other things, the decision clearly states that the terms of agreement demanded by iTunes are unreasonable with respect to Section 9a of the Norwegian Marketing Control Act. Moreover, it is unreasonable that the agreement the consumer must give consent to is regulated by English law. That iTunes disclaims all liability for possible damage the software may cause and that it may alter the rights to the music, are also considered unreasonable. iTunes must now alter their terms and conditions to comply with Norwegian law by the 21.of June.

Norway isn’t the only country who woke up to the quite sparce usage “rights” of iTMS, also Swedish and Danish Consumer Ombudsmans have sent their inquiries to iTMS [fin, I'll try to fing eng one]. Finland hasn’t done anything but just the opposite: “we” just ratified an EU directive about the consumer law, aka medieval shame punishment, which requires the convicted consumer to publish the outcome of the court to a newspaper. Also bypassing DRM became illegal.
Sweden has chosen completely different path than Finland. Swedish Minister of Justice suggested that if the music downloading would be legalized there should be a “DSL tax” that would then provide the money to the artists, in a similar way as there is one with CDs.

Global! Fussball! Ok!

Seb — Mon, 08 May 2006 23:46:24 +0000

Ok, I know this is ooold, but I have to post it solely for the sake of having the first soccer related post in this blog. Fair play to me, Jakob! ;-)

(Click the picture to see the video)