15 February 2007
Written by Rainer
US answer to global warming: smoke and giant space mirrors
Global warming has been cancelled – again. The Bush administration has announced the plan [link to actual Bush Administration plan] to solve global warming for good. The plan was actually innovated after watching a popular TV-series, Futurama, and consists of sending a giant space mirror to the atmosphere to reflect the sunlight.
The Bush administration has learned their lesson based on what happened in Futurama. For those who have forgotten or haven’t seen the episode “Grimes of the Hot” (S4 E8), the mirror was hit by a small meteor causing the mirror to tilt and form a scorching ray of light. The Bush Administration on the other hand has researched “a giant reflecting cloud of dust” which will solve the problem with debris “as it actually is debris“, Bush Administrator representative Doctor Dolittle explained. “This of course allows us to reduce the emissions set by the Kyoto Protocol allowing us to produce even more dust and smoke for the atmosphere“, Dr. Dolittle continued.
“Modifying solar radiance may be an important strategy if mitigation of emissions fails. Doing the R&D to estimate the consequences of applying such a strategy is important insurance that should be taken out. This is a very important possibility that should be considered.”
The Bush Administration has announced that they will start the program in schedule with the space emigration of the Swedes which was announced few months back. “Although our plan is still speculative, uncosted and with potential unknown side-effects, we stand behind it all the way. It’s just like imitating a giant volcano eruption“, Dr. Dolittle continues as he’s being clad back into straight jacket and hauled back to P.R.I.C.K.S, Pentagon’s Research Institution for Crazy, Kafkaesque Scientists.
More accurate news from The Guardian