26 June 2006
Written by Rainer
Mighty Bavarian overlords slayed the beast.
The people of Germany can finally sleep they nights in piece. The beast who harassed the mighty teutons is finally killed. Brave Bavarian hunters overcome the “beast from the east”, aka Bruno, who kept the country on it’s toes. The burden had overwitted the Northern Ugrs, so called “specialists” in bear hunt, who tried to capture the bear with their primitive methods. Three weeks they hunted and cornered the bear – in vain. The Teuto-Gothic efficiency came, saw and overcome.
“Tonight ve vil feazt eatin bear in al it’z formz, not to mention zer bear-bratwurst vhich vil make on’ fel lik havin a sekond tongu in zer mouth”, Horst Lederhosen, “ze leadr of ze Huntin’ party” explained demanding literally correct spelling or other vice “ze jurnalizt vil be eatn viz sauercraut”, he stated hungrily eying.
The Bavarian overlords haven’t eaten self-killer bear since 1838 when the last of the beasts eating the lambs and the pigs, robbing the chickens and rabbits and scaring the children was stopped, made to bratwurst and eaten with sauercraut.
All the Germans cross the nation are still instructed to be vigilant and report in all the bear sightings. Specially if they are sighted to gather in groups two or more.
Mor akurat newz from ze Guardian